Getting and giving consent doesn’t have to be an affair to get your lawyers involved in, but hey, if that’s what floats your boat, feel free! Sometimes a simple question will suffice. Sometimes just saying “Yes.” works. But whatever your style of giving or getting consent, make sure YOU’RE sure of your partner’s consent. If your partner doesn’t consent, or if you’re not sure, you should stop what you’re doing and ask. Confirm that your partner is or isn’t okay with continuing and go on accordingly.
It’s perfectly okay to say “No,” or “Stop,” or even, “I’m not sure about this.” A great way to continue from here is to discuss with your partner each other’s boundaries and preferences. Wouldn’t you like your partner to know exactly how you like it? Communication is key here, and you’re not going to know how to please your partner unless you ask, right?
When in doubt, make an example of Boyz II Men:
I’ll make love to you
When you want me to
And I will not let go
Till you tell me to.
To read more about consent and related topics, see WCU’s Sexual Misconduct Policy.
Written by April Pagliassotti, Peer Educator